The Nursing Saga Continued
Boy... this nursing thing is sure a struggle! I went to a LC on Friday and she weighed Berynger before and after his feeding to see how much he was getting at breast. Less than an ounce. :( She suggested pumping every couple of hours, up to eight times a day. Which was fine before Bear came home, but we're having a rough transition already, and between caring for both of my boys (3 and 7 months) by myself during the day, I don't think I can emotionally or physically handle adding pumping in, too.
So, now I am trying to decide if I should even keep nursing. Bear doesn't really seem to like nursing. He seemed to enjoy it for awhile, but that has changed. Things are just so difficult and he is so squirmy and unfocused (I know that's probably an age thing, but it's just really really hard.) pulling of and popping my nipple around in his mouth, pulling my hair and slapping my chest. And I don't really enjoy it either. (I know that sounds terrible, but when I nursed my older son I didn't enjoy it then either. I just don't like nursing that much.)
I've been weighing the pros and cons of nursing verses bottle feeding for him, and I really don't know what to do. The biggest thing I want for him is all the nutritional benefits of breast milk, and even if we're bottle feeding him, it will be exclusively breast milk, so that doesn't help me make my decision. I feel like if nursing is a terrible strain on both of us, and neither of us are happy doing it then it isn't going to help us bond. Maybe it is even hurting our bonding relationship at this point.
Needless to say, I've got some important decision making to do. Right now I'm leaning toward offering for him to nurse once in the morning and once at night if he's interested and filling in the middle of the day with bottles of breast milk. Or maybe we'll just stop all together. I don't know what to do! Any and all advice or opinions are welcome and appreciated!
posted by Sarah @ 7:44 PM
6 Comments:
Hey Sarah, I think that what you have done personally for him to be able to breast feed is awesome, there is no saying you didn't try. I know that when I had to switch my girls to bottle feeding that I still was able to get the bond with then because I was holding them as if I were breast feeding them. It may not always be that skin to skin thing, but they still smell you and feel you and are close. I breast fed them morning and at night and suplemented in the day until I ran out. At least you would be able to give him breast milk in the bottle. I don't know if this helps but I think that it may help your relationship with him, and just that bond with him might not be as strained if you don't, given the troubles that you are having. I love you and if you ever need to chat, please give me a call.
Anna
Sarah, you have by far gone above and beyond anything that most others would do. I know you put a lot of time into being able to nurse Bear, but if he doesn't like it and you don't like it and you are both just hating each other, then maybe it is time to try something else. Since you will still be giving him breast milk from the bottle anyway, the only other benefit for you to continue nursing is the bonding experience, but it seems to me like that is not happening, so why continue, KWIM?
I am sure it is a tough decision, but you have to do what is best for your family, not what you think you "should" be doing.
I'll be praying for you.
Maybe you're right; the added stress of trying to nurse might be too much right now. Some battles just aren't worth fighting. Go with your gut. If you decide to cut back or quit and you feel really disappointed, then keep on trying. If you feel relieved when you finally make the decision then - Voila! you'll know you were right.
Shoot! You could always flip a coin! ; )
P.S. I'm glad you're keeping the blog.
You know what, don't torture yourself over it. It will happen the way it's suppose to. It sounds like you have a good plan in place, you just need to implement it. Try the morning and night thing. If it doesn't work out, then just continue to love your son like you already do. There's no right or wrong. And you said you were going to give him breast milk in the bottle so he's still getting the nutrition that you said was what you wanted.
Sarah, you're a good mom. There will be so many decisions along the way but remember that God chose YOU to be Bear and Brenner's mom. He knows you are going to do your best. Rest in that and enjoy it.
Love you girl!
My goodness, don't beat yourself up woman! If it is making you resentful, and not enjoyable, let it go. The main point was to get him breastmilk, period. The fact that he even nursed ONCE was a miracle in itself! Breastmilk is best for him, which you still will be doing. Try the nursing in the morning and night for a bit...if it doesn't happen, its okay. You did it, you gave it your all, and he benefited from that!
If you want, you can get a nursing necklace, it was a sanity saver for me with Lauren (who was also a gymnast, twiddler, scratcher when she was that age) lol. I got mine from here :
http://www.mommynecklaces.com/SimplySnazzy_c_59.html
Love you so much!
You know, I had a very, very difficult time nursing my first two. Mostly my 2nd. I had overactive letdown and nursing was exhausting and he never enjoyed it. I wound up pumping and giving it to him in a bottle. I was only able to go 6 months I think it was...maybe 8. I couldn't go more than that and then we switched to formula. In the end I was glad I did it as long as I could. It was the best I could give him and I tried so hard, but I didn't beat myself up over not being able to do it longer. Every child is so different and I think you're awesome for doing this....but if he just doesn't like it and you can't pump too long...well, he got it for a little bit! That's more than many other children could ever say. In my opinion you already have proved yourself super-adoptive-mom for getting that milk supply up. :)
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